Off Topic - Aloha, my lovelies ...

Aloha my lovelies ... It took me about 4 months to finally get around to following up my medical gone awry. Tend to favour being off on a virtual tangent, keeping strange hours, rarely attending to the practical and, when I do focus on something useful, it's mostly a comedy of errors and of bizarre forgetfulness. Looking at my *massive* hair loss the other day -- in probably what is now a couple of years of insane levels of hair loss -- freaked me out enough to get my act together to finally see the doc. The doctor's concern is lining up another pap smear.  Oh, joy. But what about my *hair*, FFS?! I don't think these doctors understand that I am almost more disturbed about the prospect of hair loss, than the prospect of high risk of cancer, heart attack or of stroke associated with any 'hair retention' remedy.   What's the point of a long life, if it's the life of a woman *involuntarily* turning into a man? Even though I sort of feel 'manly' sometimes and probably identify with my 'inner man' or something like that, I like being female and I certainly have no desire to wind up *looking* like a man.  That just horrifies me. How can they not understand that femininity and baldness isn't compatible?  What's *wrong* with these doctors?  Why doesn't anyone give a sh*t that I've been losing my hair for ages? Maybe it's a cultural thing?  I don't think they get my concern -- at all. Instead of the hormone replacement therapy I thought might be a solution, I got lectured about the risks. Blood pressure reading is on the high side, as well. As a highly-strung critter that's in agitated-mode just about by default, I'm almost relieved to at last have a proper reason for the horrible feeling of agitation:  it's probably my blood pressure and not just my natural weirdness. This is soooooo unfair:  how come Bruce gets an OK for an enormous hormonal infusion in the switch from Bruce to Caitlyn, and I can't even get a hormone *boost* without dire warnings of the risk of death or turning into dribbling mess? Lecture scared me almost as much as hair loss scares me, and I left it on the basis that I'll research. But now I'm kind of put off by the prospect of a horrible death and I don't know what's worse:  horrible death or somehow coming to terms with just letting my freaking hair keep shedding, come what may. -------/\/\/