Oh, dear ...

Oh, dear ... Noticed a Twitter post that struck me as out of place. It was an image of severed heads in individual, small pine boxes.  I'd seen the image earlier and had taken it to be from the Middle East conflict.  As it's such a graphic image, I wasn't at ease on-forwarding it to others, even in link form.  Also, I'm clueless about the politics of the region, so even if the brutality was on a lower scale, I would still have been cautious sending along something that I know close to nothing about. In the first post, there wasn't a specific reference to a conflict. Yes, it referred to NATO and to Rasmussen.  But NATO's all over the shop -- it's not confined to Europe. Anyway, this image pops up again (independently sent by a different party), and this time the post indicates it's the Ukraine side severing heads to send home to the victims' mothers. Without a source or anything else, what am I supposed to think?  It just doesn't compute as something that would happen anywhere but the Middle East. So, I ask if there's a source for the assertion that the image is related to Donbass. Was told it was in the timeline:  Anna News and a link to VK. Checked and re-checked.  But no matching tweet.  Sure, it's possible I could have missed it in the timeline  -- ie, if it was part of a conversation maybe and not unfurled (or whatever the term is). Anyway, I then located the tweet that was first on my feed (from another other party) -- because I was curious and wanted to check again on location. Peering at the 'original' tweet, I see a reference to USG and I'm thinking what is that?  Yes, how dumb can a person be.  But this terminology is new to me, and it meant nothing to me.  I'm thinking it's an organisation of some kind.  And because of the Middle East mental association with severing of heads, I didn't look beyond USG + the Middle East.  So "USG Humanitarian Aid Syria" on the Google search seemed perfectly rational to accept as the likely location.  Had I been more cautious and had I fully read the document, I would hopefully have twigged it's a reference to the 'US Government', as opposed to some other organisation.  Unaware that the Syria trail was erroneous, I subsequently respond along the lines of sending a link to the 'original' tweet and I ask if the image could be related to Syria. A fair enough question if you seriously believe that the image isn't matched to the conflict. Got a response with a link to a site.  The site link wasn't to Anna News or to the VK site, so it was yet another source in play  --  as far as I could see. Tried opening the link.  Nothing.  'Server not found'.  Try again.  Nothing. Now I wish I'd let it go at that -- but why would I just let it go if it doesn't make sense?  It didn't make sense at all.   To my mind, I've been hunting a source high and low and the source I was later given wasn't even opening a page.  So, of course, I'm going to make it known that the page isn't opening. When the guy came back with "Bullshit, I'm looking at it ... ", I shot back "Bullshit, it's Syria".   In my defence, I wasn't getting a page up on the link given to me and I hadn't found anything in the timeline like suggested, so I certainly wasn't convinced by the assertion that he was looking at a page my computer refused to upload. Even though the person had followers I recognised in the little pop-up thingy that's immediately visible (which ought to have told me it is most likely a reliable source), I queried the tweet because I simply could not believe that anyone -- apart from the rare homicidal maniac -- is severing heads anywhere but in the Middle East. Pretty stupid in hindsight, but there you go.  What happens next is mortifying. Determined to find out what's going on, I keep messing with the link (with no luck), but eventually it dawns on me to go in through the cache. Anyway, I scroll ... and scroll ... and, to my horror, I find the severed heads in boxes image.  Turns out it's ... not Syria.  Oops. Now I'm wondering if I'd been on that page before and if I'd overlooked the heads in the box because I didn't scroll down far enough.  The photo of the funeral looks familiar, so I might have.  Or I might have seen the photo elsewhere. Right then and there, all I wanted to do was slink faaaaaaar away.   Thought I'd do the right think and apologise, noting I got in through the cache page after all.  Slink ... slink ... slink.  I feel really rotten.  I've insulted the dead -- of the people I've taken sides with. On par with that:  I realise once again that their war isn't real to me.   It's a mental acceptance that there's violence and death - but it's not on a really deep level. Without even realising, I revert once more to a default position where this war is like being on-side of a team ... but this isn't sport.  That makes me feel like crap.  Seriously crap.  Why is there something within me that's remote, even when it comes to things I support or perhaps identify with?   The imagery in my mind is of the Novorossiya guys who look strong and brave, taking on the might of the government, while larking about and laughing about it like they do in the videos.  The guys look so chilled out and in control, that you almost want to be one of one of the crew with the fearlessness and massive guns.  No idea where this desire comes from.  It's irrational.  What I think appeals is the perceived strength of the men who have the guts to do what they do. Even though I know there have been Novorossiya fatalities, it doesn't properly sink in. It seems as if death is a rare thing; something that happens if you're unlucky and a bullet happens to strike.  In this fantasy war scenario, it's a clean shot, death is quick and it's all very civilised. How could I think something like that even after seeing horrific images?   Well, that would be because the images I've seen are of the enemy forces and -- .  And what?  I don't know.    Not many violent images really shock me in any lasting way.  Yes, when I see something particularly confronting, I'll feel the shock of it.  Some particularly violent images, I prefer not to see at all because the aversion level is quite high.  But with most things, after an initial jolt, everything reverts back to feeling remote.  I can't cry even if I feel I want to.  It's really rare for me to have a cry.  And when I do it's not much of a cry.  Maybe crying is something you grow out of.   Moving along to another subject, I think I've got some problem with the computer. Several links failed to open on a 'server down' basis and the last couple of days I had trouble signing onto services.  Even though it's not consistent, there's got to be a fault somewhere that needs fixing.  Hoping it's not malware or some Chinese hacker hanging about. Everything was fine, until I got that effing ad.fly shit annoying me .. and then I wound up doing what?  Resetting my browser, I think it was.  It's all been crap since.