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General Tso Chicken [CLICK to Enlarge] ---------------------- ---------------------- Still depressed. Forcing myself to cook more than I otherwise would cook these days, just to try to get back into a more functional mode. Not a success so far. Body clock is COMPLETELY out of whack. It's getting to be a huge problem, because I cannot tend to some of the things I really do have to see to (like follow-up medical etc). Success rate in kitchen an all-time low.  Run of cooking disasters: General Tso Chicken - horrible and nothing like it tastes like from the take-away. Bread & Butter Pudding with Banana -  Yuk.  Conclusion:  not into banana unless its fresh and on the unripe side. Also burnt the pudding this time around, trying to toast the top.  Forgot about it.  Memory's not good for practical things, but I can remember weird facts OK ... lol. Fried Rice - more improvised than usual / too much sauce.  Yuk again. Spaghetti Carbonara - that also went wrong.  Not completely, but I did waaaaaaaay more pasta than needed for amount of sauce.   It was edible, but still a disaster. Just baked an improvised Buttermilk Coffee Cake, using this recipe as a base.  It smells beautiful, although it hasn't risen much for me.   Maybe I shouldn't have tampered with this recipe -- here. Recipe calls for 'cake four'.  I used plain flour.   Next time it might be an idea to use Nigella's method to reduce the protein -- substitute 2 Tbsp per cup with cornflour  -- here?   That's if I could be bothered doing this again and if I could be bothered messing around while doing it. Buttermilk Coffee Cake The mix I've made up has dissolved instant coffee in it (x4 dessert spoons  dissolved in x6 dessert spoons of boiling water; abt 1 tsp set aside for the cream I'll whip up later).  Added some extra buttermilk because it seemed too dry a mix.* I can't cook without stuffing my face as well, so if I keep cooking as an 'antidote' to apathy and depression, I'm going to wind up depressed, fat and apathetic.  Great. Might have to substitute cleaning for cooking.   Finally did some cleaning the other day and it just about killed me.  Sweat pouring off me, couldn't breathe, skin must be paper-thin because I've got hand injuries even through rubber gloves. Wish I was one of those people obsessed about cleaning.  The things I like doing are useless ... like,  lists of Roman emperors ... lol. I'll never remember all those Roman emperors and I'm not sure I'll get around to looking up all their bios -- never enough time, even when you've got all the time in the world.   Was wondering if Rome began to go down the tubes once they started appointing foreign emperors from the provinces, followed by the divisions of empire etc?   So, is power-sharing and dilution of ethnic bonds the beginning of the end? Don't know the answer to that, it was just a thought while I was skimming Roman emperors. ------- YUK * Broke off a bit of the cake.  It tastes gluey.  Improvisation gone wrong.  LMAO. At this rate, maybe I won't put on weight ... everything's going to be too yuk to eat.  lol Noticed the stick blender cord  had been dangling in a plastic container of water by the side of the sink as I whipped the cream.  Yikes.  I could have been zapped.   Maybe it wouldn't have been such a bad thing if it was instant. For those that don't fancy a zapping, might be best not to have containers of water resting in kitchen areas electrical cords are likely to cross. It was a f*cking mistake to try to kick-start energy by turning to cooking.  I'm now being pressured to cook regardless of my disinterest in reverting to kitchen slavery and getting f*cking fat.   I feel like I'm suffocating here.  Wish I could escape. Ideally, I'd live on a Russian submarine or something.  lol